The following story is true. I condensed it from my mother’s diary. Her death was a surprise to us. We love our mother. We are in love with our mother. This is for her. Rest in peace Mom.

It was 1970, I was 35 years old, a widow of the Vietnam war, the mother of two children. Tom Jr. fifteen and Alisha fourteen. I as devastated. For the first year that Tom was gone, I concentrated on the children, not myself. The world was in a state of confusion. My emotions were not far behind. After the money we got from the government was gone, I got a job. I never had to work in my life. I had a GED, no college. A friend of mine convinced her husband to hire me as a secretary.

It was Friday afternoon. Tom and Ali were usually in their rooms, so I went to mine to change. Ali’s bedroom door was open, I looked in, she wasn’t there. Tom’s door was partially open, enough to see in. I didn’t open it though, last time I did that Tom was masturbating. We were both very embarrassed. This time though, both Tom and Ali were in there masturbating. I blushed. I stood there dumbfounded. I didn’t know if I should interrupt or ignore it. I went to my room and sat in the chair next to the window and stared out. I don’t know how long I had been sitting there thinking about Tom Sr. and how much I missed him.

In the spring of 1956 I got pregnant. Tom Sr. being the proper man in those days told my mom that he would marry me and give the child a proper home. Mom herself was a widow of WWII. Without fanfare, Tom and I married before I started to “show”. I wasn’t in love with him, I loved him though. We lived with mom until after Tom Jr. was born. Tom Sr. was a devoted father, but not a devoted husband. We had sex once a month. I masturbated a lot. He had his mistress.

Tom got a job with a large metal manufacturer in the area. When Tom Jr. was a year old, we bought a house. Then it happened, he came home from work and had announced that he had joined the Army. At first, I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. Between ‘58 and ‘69 we were all over the place, Europe, California, Virginia and Washington. His unit had been ordered to Vietnam. In the now 12 years of marriage, I had fallen in love with him. He didn’t have a mistress. I didn’t masturbate, unless it was for him.

My thoughts were interrupted by Ali. “Mom, are you alright?”

I looked at her. Smiled. “Yes sweetheart, I’m fine. Was thinking about your father. “ The image of my children naked and masturbating suddenly flooded my mind. I cringed. “What can I do for you?”

“What’s for dinner?” She asked.

“Oh, uh, I didn’t even think about dinner. Lets go out. I don’t feel like cooking tonight.”

We sat and watched TV when we got home. I was wondering if I should say something to them about what I had seen earlier in the evening. I decided to wait till they went to bed and would talk to them separately.

I went to Tom first, He as in his bed, reading one of his science fiction books. “Tom, we need to have a talk.”

“Sure mom, let me finish this page?”

I sat on his bed and waited.

“What’s up mom?”

“Well, Remember a few weeks ago when I walked in and saw you masturbating?”

He blushed. “Uh, yeah mom. “ He looked away from me.

“Well, today, when I got home, I saw you and Ali masturbating together.”

His face became pale. “That’s all we did. I promise.”

“Don’t panic, I just don’t want you masturbating in front of her that’s all. She’s fourteen years old, too young to be doing those things.”

“It wasn’t my idea mom.”

“What do you mean, she wanted to masturbate too?”

“Kinda. I had the door closed, like you and I had agreed, and was masturbating, she walked in. She wanted to know what I was doing and I told her. She said that she never saw a boy with an erection and asked if she could see mine.”

He was bright red.

“You should have said no.” I said sternly.

“I did, then told her to get out.”

“You sure?”

“Yes mom, I promise.” He paused, “Next thing I know, she was getting undressed and wanted to watch me. I’m sorry mom, but I got hard again looking at her. I couldn’t help myself, I started to jack off.”

“Please don’t say that. It sounds crude.” I looked at him. “Did you do anything else?”

“No mom, that was all. She started to finger herself and said that she liked watching me. She asked if she could watch me when ever I jac ... masturbated. I told her I don’t care, but if we get caught, she had to tell the truth that it was her idea.”

“Ok. I don’t want you doing it in front of her anymore.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Night sweety.”

I went to Ali’s room. “Alisha, we need to have a talk about what you and Tom did today.”

“What do you mean mom?” She blushed.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Oh. “ She looked down, and blushed more.

“You are not allowed to be in his room unless the door is open. That means the bathroom too.” I paused, “That means ANY room, no matter where.”

“Yes mom.”

I kissed her forehead, pulled her blankets up to her chin. “Night sweety.”

“Night mom.”

I went back to the living room and watched some more TV.

I sat there and wondered if Ali would defy me and go back to his room after I was asleep. I felt my nipples get hard, then blushed. In my mind, I suddenly saw his penis, hard, his hand wrapped around it and jacking off.

I went to bed and laid there and wondered more if my son is masturbating. I started to get aroused.

“This isn’t right. “ I heard myself say out loud. I blushed. I pushed the image from my mind, and went to sleep.

The next few weeks went by pleasantly, as far as I knew, Ali was staying out of Tom’s room. I hadn’t thought about Tom sexually once since that one night.

Then it happened. The three of us were sitting on the living room floor playing Monopoly. I looked over to him, he had an erection, the bulge in his blue jeans was unmistakable.

I couldn’t concentrate on the game. All I could think about was him masturbating. “Listen you two, I’m a bit tired, I’m going to hit the sack. Don’t stay up too late.” I got up and went to my room.

I stood in front the mirror, looking at my naked body. My breasts sagged, my stomach still had the signs of stretch marks. My butt sagged. I had love handles. I was 35 and had my mom’s body.

I didn’t put my nightgown on. I just went to bed.

At some time during the night I woke up. I had been masturbating in my sleep. I got up, went to the bathroom, peed washed my hands. On my way back to my room I stopped in front of Tom’s room. His door was closed. I opened it, looked in. He was asleep. I went in closed the door, sat on his bed, crossed my legs.

“Mom? Is something wrong?” He said, half asleep. He sat up, turned his lamp on.

“Nothing sweety. “ I reached out, pulled his blankets down. Looked at his crotch, his penis was soft. “Take your pj’s off Tom.”

“What?”

“Please Tom, don’t ask. “ I blushed. I knew what I was about to do was wrong. I was a good Catholic mother. I didn’t even date after Tom Sr. died. I had lived without sex for a long time. “Please, just do as I ask.”

“Uh, ok mom. “ He started to get undressed. His penis started to get hard.

“Tom, I want you to masturbate for me.”

“What?”

“Please, I want to watch you jack off.”

He started to stroke his penis. I reached down and started to masturbate.

I didn’t touch him. I just watched. I couldn’t look at his face. I didn’t dare. I just wanted to watch him ejaculate, I wanted to have an orgasm.

Few minutes had passed, his face got tight, so did his tummy, his testicles shrunk up inside him. I waited, I wanted to see his semen. There was plenty. I fingered myself faster until I had my orgasm.

Without a word to the other, I got off of his bed and left his room.

Every night for a month, after I knew Ali as asleep, I would go into Tom’s room, we would masturbate.

I couldn’t help myself. I reached down, took his penis in my hand and started to jack him off.

Whenever Tom and I were alone, I would jack him off. No matter what time of day. I became a woman obsessed. For the next three or four months I did it. I wanted to see him ejaculate and he did.