“Dubois here,” Meg heard over the pay phone.

“It’s me, Meg. I’m at the airport. You still working?”

“Yeah, shit, I didn’t realize it was so late. We’re installing the upgrade on the network this weekend so that we don’t disrupt the faculty too much.”

“If you’re busy, I can take a cab.”

“No, no, no, I’ll be there. O.T. can finish up. We were almost done anyway. Let me finish a few things and I’ll be over there,” Meg could hear the smile in Tommy’s voice. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too. See you then.”

Meg sat outside the small terminal and pulled a book from her bag. It would be difficult to guess when Tommy would arrive. She had read at least one chapter when Tommy pulled up in his Saturn. Meg considered the curiosity that Tommy was the first man she had dated for any length of time that could afford a new car. It was also the first new car Tommy could afford to buy. They were becoming adults, imagine that.

Meg rolled her bag to the curb while her big man unfolded himself out of the driver’s seat. His gut was getting more pronounced, and she herself was feeling more than a little overfed after a week with family. They both needed exercise, and Meg knew what Tommy’s solution would be.

“What are you grinning about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just imagining you trying to climb out of that old Civic you told me about.”

“It was a good car! It served me well.”

“Oh really? That must have been the first ten years.”

Tommy shut the trunk after loading the suitcase. Meg placed a new soft-sided briefcase in the back seat and stepped into the passenger side.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked.

“Yep, it’s a laptop. Dad gave it to me. I had made a random comment about wanting one...”

“Geez ... He just gave you a laptop?”

“Well, it’s a ‘belated graduation/help Meg get a real job’ gift,” Meg chuckled quietly. “I had really wanted a trip to Europe, but I had to start the postdoc right away ... Anyway, that’s just how Dad shows he cares, to not accept his gifts would be a slap in the face...”

“So how was dear old Dad? How does he feel about us living together?

Did he give you a hard time?”

“He doesn’t know, I mean about the relationship part. I’ve had male roommates before, so unless you told him ... He didn’t comment,” Meg looked at Tommy as he drove. He opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it. Meg’s postdoc position would last another nine months, and then she would have to find a faculty appointment somewhere.

Whether Tommy would come with her was still uncertain. It was clear he was satisfied with the status quo. She hadn’t told her father because she didn’t have anything to tell. “Besides, I like to pick my battles. He was concerned about the job situation.”

Tommy was silent for a moment. “So you haven’t said anything about the vacation? Did you have fun?”

“Oh, I guess it was all right, if you like emotional minefields...”

“Surely you’re exaggerating,” Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed as Meg watched him drive. It was rush hour in the college town, complicated by the presence of moving vans. The kids were back. Those in academia will tell you that college towns would be perfect, if it weren’t for the students.

“Well, not that much. We just had to get used to each other again. If it had just been me and my dad, or me and my brother and his family ... You put that many strong-willed people in one room and ... and don’t call me Shirley.”

“Ha! I was wondering if you’d catch that. So what did you do?”

“Well, things ran a lot smoother when I kept my mouth shut and stayed in the kitchen.”

Tommy laughed, “As it should be, woman!”

Meg didn’t answer right away. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“What’s the matter? You sound depressed or something.”

“I’m just tired. It’s ragweed season back home, and I got a headache on the flight. I just need to rest.”

They were sitting at a long light, and Meg became lost in her thoughts. Visiting her family was a strain, walking on eggshells like that. The idea of a minefield wasn’t far off. Like the lush, green countries of Southeast Asia, they appeared as a peaceful family with no trace of the open hostilities of the past, but a careless word during a stressful moment could detonate the buried animosities.

In the midst of this, Meg had felt the ground give way beneath her as she dropped into a forgotten cave. She had seen at her feet that once familiar subterranean pool of rage. Meg had gazed into its still depths; she knew the taste of it, pure, dark, and bitter. She felt shame, for mixing her metaphors, and for knowing the pool still existed, that forgiveness and understanding had not caused the pool to fade away, or at least diluted its potency.

She wanted desperately to be free of it; Meg did not want such a terrible resource from which to draw the power to hurt others. She knew she would ultimately hurt herself and end up alone. Gratefully, the now latent anger felt as distant as a dream; Meg could not get close enough to see her reflection on the jet surface.

Tommy was watching her. “I missed you.” He smiled down at her and squeezed her knee gently.

“I missed you, too.” Meg tried to look relaxed as she smiled up at him.

“I’m going to have to call O.T. when we get home.”

“I could have gotten a cab if you needed to work.”

“No way! I plan on making you squeal tonight,” he grinned. “What’s your pleasure?”

“It’s up to you. I’ve gotten out of the habit of making the decisions this week. You can make the call.”

“Be careful what you wish for ... With that kind of attitude, I might request something very special. Hehehehe...”