I’ve always had great relationship with my daughter; she’s my confidant and my best friend. She always was, since she could talk.

My husband died tragically several years ago. This brought Sally and I even closer together, and I thanked God for the strength we gave each other.

Sally was only 14 when her father died, so I was alone to guide her through her adolescence.

Sally is beautiful and personable, and has always been a popular girl. It could have been difficult for her as coloured girl growing up in a mainly white middle-class neighbourhood like ours, but thanks to her personality and good looks, she’s never had a problem finding friends.

As I’ve said, she was my confidant and best friend; we talked about love and sex more as friends than as mother and daughter. Sally lost her virginity at 16, and wasted no time telling me about it. Of course, as her mother, I couldn’t help but be upset. But as her friend, I could only be happy for her. She was positively glowing with the excitement and fulfillment of it. I was truly glad that her first experience had been so positive, lord knows mine wasn’t.

A year later she was still seeing the same boy. His name was Kenny.

And I was still alone, not having had a man since before my husband had fallen ill.

“Mom, isn’t it time you found a boyfriend?”

‘Boyfriend?’ What kind term was that? I had just turned 40 years old. I might find a lover, but it was unlikely to be someone who could be referred to as a ‘boyfriend’.

“I really don’t feel ready yet for a new relationship, Sally.” I told her.

“Okay, but at least you could find a lover. You’re a good-looking woman, mom. I bet there’s lots of guys who would be interested in you.”

She was right. By good fortune, I’ve kept my good looks. It really is just luck. I’m careful to eat healthily, but I’ve never been into any kind of exercise or sport trip. Nonetheless, I still have a fine trim figure, and a smooth even complexion. There is no gray in my hair, and it’s still thick, black and shiny. All right, so I go to the beauty parlour once a week, but the color is natural.

“I wouldn’t mind that at all Sally. But I just don’t want to devote the time that it would take. There are a couple of guys down at the office who’ve been pestering me for a date, but I’m not really interested in either of them.”

“Come on, out with it, mom. What are they like?”

“In their 50s.”

“Okay. Never mind them. There must be other guys giving you the look.”

“Well, yes, there are sometimes. But the whole dating thing really turns me off. I haven’t dated for 20 years, I don’t remember how.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to know, mom. The guy asks you out, you say ‘yes’, and he takes you to a movie and buys you dinner. If the dinner was good, you let him come in when he brings you home. If he’s cute, you let him spend the night. And in the morning I’ll make you both a nice breakfast!”

We both had a good laugh at that.

“That’s really sweet of you, Sally. But I just don’t feel like getting into it, all the bullshit; ‘what do you do? What’s your sign? What’s your gross annual income?’”

When she said to me; “How about a night with Kenny? I bet you wouldn’t mind that!” I assumed she was joking.

“Now a nice young hunk like Kenny would go down with that idea, I just couldn’t imagine. You can do the dating rituals, and then send him to my room for sex!” I said jokingly.

“Oh mom, he’s so sweet! I think you’ll just love him!”

“You’re not serious!”

“Sure! What’s wrong with it? You’re always so good to me, mom. You buy me things, you cook for me. I’d love to be able to do something for you for a change.”

“I really don’t think it would be a good idea Sally. Kenny is your boyfriend, and I do think he’s a sweetie. But I don’t want anything coming between us, especially not a boy.”

“Shit, mom. It’s not like I’m going to marry him or something. Actually, I don’t think our relationship is going to last much longer anyway.”

I was surprised by that, “Why not?”

“I don’t know. It’s starting to get old. As you always told me, these things come and go, especially at my age. So, tell me why you shouldn’t sleep with Kenny.”

“He’s about 23 years younger than me, for one reason.”

“So? You’re a beauty, and he’s a hunk. I’m not suggesting you settle down with the guy, just have some fun with him. You need it, you deserve it. You’ve been working too much lately, and you need a break. Some relaxation.”

If this was Sally at 17 years old, imagine what she was going to be like by the time she was my age? I thought.

“I’m sure Kenny wouldn’t be interested in an old lady like me.”

“Okay, mom. I’ll make a bet with you. If Kenny is “interested”, as you put it, he spends the night with you. If he’s not, then he doesn’t!”

“Fine. And how do we discern if he’s interested?”

“Nothing could be easier. I’ll ask him.”

Well, she’d worked me into a corner. Perhaps I allowed myself to be worked, I don’t know.

Kenny often spent the night at our place, with Sally. I know some people think that I’m way too liberal, but the fact is that they’re going to do it. Girls and boys do, no matter what their parents say or think. I like to know that Sally is safe at home, and if she’s getting laid, let it be in her own bed. Comfortable, safe, and secure.

I like Kenny; as I said, he’s a sweetie. And as Sally said, he’s a hunk. He was always so respectful toward me; “Let me get that for you Mrs. Johnson.” Or; “I’ll do the dishes tonight, Mrs. Johnson. Thanks for the great meal!”

Relationships don’t seem to last very long these days, and I knew it was incredibly unlikely that my daughter’s relationship should be any different, but somehow I’d always imagined Kenny as a lovely son-in-law.

I tried to put it out of my mind, a sexual encounter with a young stud like Kenny. But he came over the next day after school.

“Hi, Mrs. Johnson! Is Sally upstairs?”

Oh he was lovely. Young, fresh, enthusiastic, energetic. As I looked into his face I couldn’t help but think of taking him into my arms, kissing his young lips, tasting his young mouth. His clear blue eyes radiated health.

“Yes, Kenny. Go on up.” I told him.

As I busied myself in the kitchen, I found myself wondering what his penis looked like, if the skin of his trim round butt was as white and smooth as his face.

I called the kids down for dinner after a couple of hours.

As we ate, I thought Kenny was looking at me differently. I had the idea that he was sizing me up whenever I was looking in another direction. Could Sally have actually asked him? Never, I thought. How could a girl possibly ask her boyfriend if he was interested in her mother sexually? Never.

“Mom,” Sally said after dinner, “I’m going to spend the night over at Joanne’s place. I’ve already phoned her, and it’s cool.”

I stared at her. No. She didn’t. She was poker faced. I looked at Kenny. He was starting to blush.

“I’ll, um, I’ll do the dishes!” And without meeting my eyes, he gathered up the plates and headed for the kitchen.

“Sally! You didn’t actually ask him?”

She pretended to be busy with something, and wouldn’t meet my eyes either.

“I sure did, mom. And guess what he said?”

She looked up at me, and the grin on her face was so wide, that I couldn’t help but laugh. This was so ludicrous, so ridiculous. She wasn’t serious.

She laughed as well, but she was completely serious.

She was out the door within seconds. She had known me her whole life, she knew me perfectly. She gave me no opportunity to object.

I have to admit that if I really hadn’t wanted Kenny, I would’ve found a way to object. But I didn’t find a way, did I?

I went into the kitchen. Kenny was drying the dishes.

“Kenny.”

He turned, and met my eyes with his at last. This was awkward.

Awkward is not a strong enough word for the situation.

He didn’t seem to have anything to say; what could he say to a woman more than twice his age, whom he was supposed to now seduce?

“Kenny, this is a little strange. I really like you, I think you’re a fine young man. I don’t know what Sally said to you exactly, but, um, maybe it would be better if you just went home.”

I was trying to judge his emotions; it was difficult. Something between relief and disappointment. I’d expected him to bolt. But I had underestimated the young fellow, he stood his ground.

“If that’s what you want, Mrs. Johnson.”

I hesitated. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Of course I was conflicted, my sense of moral decency was totally clashing with my animal desire. My carnal desire to have him, lie with him...

I suddenly realized that I hadn’t replied. That I was simply staring at him, staring at him with lust in my heart, with fire between my legs.

“I’m not sure what I want, Kenny. What about you? Do you really want ... want to be with me? Did Sally pressure you somehow?”

“You’re a very beautiful woman, Mrs. Johnson. The idea of spending the night with you ... It excites me.”

He was blushing beet red, but he kept eye contact with me. What would I regret more, I thought to myself; taking advantage of this young man, or letting this opportunity slip by?

He met me halfway across the kitchen floor. Our arms opened, closed around each other, pull each other close. I was wearing high heels, I usually did. It made me slightly taller than him. His hands caressed the skin of my back through the thin blouse I was wearing, his young pink lips found mine, rational thought abandoned me.